Prizes available for further amusing slogans … And the opportunity to go “viral”.
Indeed, even as you read, our crack programming team will be working overnight tonight developing an easy-to-use web-based DIY write yer own slogan ‘n’ print version. Watch this space.
Are times really that tough down at the Counts Louse? Or have the Lib Dems found a new way to fill the party coffers?
Because it seems that the space available on the council’s website for the next cabinet meeting is being used to host advertising for the German Tourist Board.
But why stop there? Perhaps the planning department could sell some space to the Merchant Venturers? Transport could approach First Bus; the PR office maybe could formalise that cosy relationship with the Cancer for some cash and social services could no doubt do a deal with Mimosa Healthcare.
The Deputy Chief Exec’s Department, meanwhile, might like to think about approaching something along the lines of the Society for Fucking Useless Coppers.
I’m sure when this all started any direct link between Tesco and the new stadium was being vigorously denied and rebutted. Now they’re advertising the fact on billboards:
This city’s politicians’ habit of speaking in bland, meaningless platitudes on any and every subject while the bureaucrats they handsomely pay are left with a free hand to royally shaft us may be under threat judging by events today.
First up, we have Lib Dem Cabinet member Gary Hopkins on this very blog edging – albeit tentatively – toward expressing an actual policy from his party on the ‘Tesco at the Gate’ shenanigans.
We kid you not! Here’s what he said earlier today:
I will though address the […] question that he asked about Tesco.
1 The administration cannot and will not seek to influence a planning committee decision which is semi judicial.
2 As a matter of practicality we did though recommend that the 2 applications be heard on different committees not the same one.
3 We will use any landholdings we have to get best value for Bristol residents.
4 It is extremely unlikely that we would regard “giving away land to Tesco” as consistent with that.
5 Any decisions on this sort of issue will be taken in open cabinet and this has already been confirmed in writing.
6 Expect suprises.
7 Final positions cannot be announced because the situation is still developing.
OK. It’s not much. But there’s a written commitment that the city council’s sale of their land at the Gate will be decided at a public meeting of the Cabinet. And there’s – sort of – a promise not to give the land away or sell it on the cheap.
As for ‘Expect suprises” (sic), perhaps Sweaty Cook’s gonna put on his tights in the Council Chamber and revive his legendary 1987 Barbican RSC performance as ‘sperm’ in Genet’s The Balcony?
Whatever, claims 3 and 4, especially, should be treated with some scepticism. Because, although it’s unlikely Hopkins knows yet – as, along with the rest of his cabinet colleagues, he’ll be the last to know – there’s a number of senior officers quietly working to, indeed, more-or-less give our land away to Tesco.
Watch this space …
Elsewhere anti-Tesco campaigners Berate have decided to ask all the candidates for Parliament in South Bristol next year for their views on Tesco at the Gate.
Their sights are obviously firmly set on the non-committal Dim Prawn – who’s, as usual, trying to have it both ways, but the Lib Dem candidate is Cabinet Member, Mark Wright whose answer may be interesting too.
We await the responses (or lack of them) with interest.
Or your private email message may end up all over the internet:
http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/gagging_orders_in_secret_family_177#incoming-49653
Ho! Ho! Ho!
UNISON have been asking some useful questions about senior officers’ fat cat six-figure salaries down at the Counts Louse.
Possibly overlooked in the frenzy over Tesco at Ashton Gate and Steve Lansdown’s admission that his £60m stadium, as predicted, is actually going to cost someone £90m – a fact still blithely ignored by that lazy sod of a political journalist at the Cancer, Ian Onions – UNISON asked the last cabinet meeting this (pdf):
Q: Business Transformation was anticipated to slim line management for cost savings; therefore how can 3rd tier posts and above have increased along with salaries and how can we, as a trade union in these economic times, endorse an approximate 30% salary increase for the Chief and Deputy Executive and the rest of the workforce only get 2%?
Where are the savings if we, not only lost many 3rd tier and above employees and had to pay out redundancy, but then employ more than we had before on higher wages?
This elicited the following rather evasive response:
A: Reductions in posts as a result of restructuring are largely being implemented in 2009/10, and therefore one would expect this to be reflected in the comparable information in the accounts for this year. Therefore, savings will arise in 2009/10 rather than 2008/09.
The rationale for increasing the salary range of the post of Chief Executive was set out in the report to HR Committee in September 2007, and was the subject of consultation at that time. The salary increase reflecting the enhanced role set out for this post, and reflected independent advice received from the Council’s consultants.
The post of Deputy Chief Executive was a new post created as part of the management restructuring of the Council, the grade and salary of which was set by the HR Committee. Therefore, no previous pay/grading level for this post existed. The salary increase quoted by UNISON is erroneous. The Council’s management restructuring was also the subject of consultation prior to approval of the new structure.
I see. So “savings will arise in 2009/10 rather than 2008/09” will they?
Fair point. But since UNISON are asking questions on a ‘Revenue budget 2009/10 – monitoring report’ and we’re now six months in to that period why aren’t these savings apparent yet? Will they magically appear over the next six months?
Who knows? But it looks like UNISON’s questions have rattled the council’s greedy boss class because a Human Resources Committee Meeting the following week had the following agenda item and report: ‘Review of 1st – 3rd Tier Management Restructure‘ (pdf) hurriedly tacked on the end.
And what gems there are to be found, such as this:
1st Tier
There has been a net reduction of 1 post, discounting the Strategic Director: Transformation which is funded on a fixed term basis from reserves. Four 1st tier officers were displaced. Two have been seconded to organisations/roles for fixed term periods and two have left on the grounds of early retirement due to redundancy.
Read that carefully. So far there’s been no net reduction in posts whatsoever and we learn that of the four officers replaced in the last 18 months two have actually been employed by the council elsewhere on the same salaries, which means that, er … there’s been a net increase of two posts paying top-whack six-figure salaries!
Let’s move on:
2nd Tier
There has been a reduction of 5.8 FTE posts. However, as a consequence of the selection process for new roles in the structure, five post holders have left on the grounds of early retirement due to redundancy, and two have left on the grounds of redundancy without pension release. In addition, two staff have been seconded to other roles (one of whom has been seconded to a role outside of the Council). There are also two displaced employees currently occupying interim roles.
Here we go again. “There has been a reduction of 5.8 FTE posts”. Except “two staff have been seconded to other roles” and “two displaced employees currently occupy interim roles”. That’s a reduction of 1.8 posts then.
And so on to the 3rd tier … Where we learn “There has been a reduction of 5.7 FTE posts”. Except there hasn’t of course because “The remaining staff are being considered for redeployment or undertaking project/interim management”. On exactly the same wages, naturally. In fact we’re told “There has been an increase in the pay bill of £254K per annum”!
The document then goes on to show us a load of spreadsheets meant to explain how much of our money will be saved by raising the boss class’s salaries. Alas, it’s of little use in the real world because they forgot to include the seconded staff, the “interim roles” the redeployments and any “project/interim management” roles.
Worth every penny aren’t they?
A reader writes:
Residents in the Ashley Down/St Andrews/Montpelier area of Bristol have just received this hilarious letter (see below). The following comments seem relevant:
a) This letter was clearly not just sent to my road and I suspect the opening statement is simply not true. A police letter that starts by sounding like a cheap estate agent does not inspire confidence.
b) It is full of typos and sub-literate grammatical turns. My favourite is where he apologises for the previous lack of inaction.
c) It starts with a threat. In short, if you complain about this policy by reference to what has always been the norm, we will regard you as a criminal.
d) It is contradictory. Is it now ok to park on the pavement if we leave a wheelchair’s width?
e) It ends asking us to all think of him as a friend 🙂
Hot Fuzz, eat your heart out.
St Pauls Police by bristol_citizen on Scribd
Due to an unfortunate mix-up on Friday, this blog accidentally published a photograph of Canadian ice hockey legend Bob Wall in an article about ‘Mr Bristol’, the recently deceased former Bristol Tory Group leader, Sir Bob Wall.
We would obviously like to apologise to Sir Bob’s family for any offence caused by this unfortunate misunderstanding. We are also happy to say that Sir Bob, to the best of out knowledge, never played defence for the Hamilton Red Wings ice hockey team and indeed probably never played ice hockey in his entire life.
Due to a freakish transcription error we may have also accidentally suggested that Sir Bob used to cross dress in the 1980s. We are happy to confirm we have no evidence whatsoever that Sir Bob ever wore a dress in that decade. That would have been something to do with the East Bristol Lib Dems wouldn’t it?
(That’s enough Bob Wall photo confusion, Ed)
It appears that yesterday this blog, due to the fact that it’s run – in common with the rest of the city’s media – by total fucking morons, may have inadvertently run a photo of martial arts expert and Hollywood star Bob Wall starring in ‘Enter the Dragon’ rather than a photo of ‘Mr Bristol’, the recently deceased local Tory political legend Sir Bob Wall.
We would obviously like to offer our sincere apologies to Sir Bob for this entirely understandable
error that anyone could have made and also apologise for any offence caused to Jenny-Veeve and the rest of Sir Blob’s family.
Pictured (right) is Sir Bob in his beloved ice hockey kit and (above) during his ‘Miss Bristol’ cross-dressing days back in the 80s where he’s stood next to a rather dull man with glasses that our expert subeditorial team of work experience day release trainees are unable to identify at present.
Sir Bob battles it out with Bruce Lee in the early 70s
The Evening Cancer’s innovative experiment to become the country’s leading staffless newspaper continues apace …
The death this week of the Tory’s ‘father of the city’ – bluff old cove and enthusiastic Bristolian reader Bob Wall – found editor Norton’s malfunctioning organ in a sombre state.
“‘Mr Bristol’ Sir Robert dies at 80,” intoned the paper on Tuesday before launching in to a gushing tribute to Sir Bob accompanied by a photo of someone else entirely! And for good measure the paper also misspelled his daughter’s name!
Wednesday then found the paper in a contrite state, dedicating an editorial and a whole page to Sir Bob that even featured an actual photo of him and the headline ‘The best MP that Bristol never had’.
Talk about damn with faint praise. Given the esteem that MPs are currently held in, short of describing Bob as the best terrorist Bristol never had or the best rapist Bristol never had is there a bigger insult you could throw at him?
Here at the Blogger, we’re happy to say that – in a highly competitive field stretching back over many generations – Bob might well have been the best Tory kung fu black belt the city’s ever had.
RIP Bob.
