Gott in Himmel! Das Bristol BNP ist bonkerz

Der Griffinführer: “Ich bin ein teapot”

Increasingly deranged noises – other than the new Bryan Ferry album – emerging from der Griffinführer’s London Nutterzbunker in response to the BNP having their sorry arses kicked out of Fishponds on Tuesday night.

This was not, as we might all suppose, a major setback and huge embarrassment for the BNP in Bristol demonstrating nil support for their retarded ideas. Oh no. It’s evidence of tremendous success! We’re even assured by a member of the BNP’s Presstapo, “support for the BNP is at unprecedented levels on Bristol housing estates.”

Really? Is that so?

I think roughly translated from BNP völkisch that means “we’ve leafleted a bit of Hartcliffe under the cover of darkness without candidate, Kerry Luckett, having her stupid leaflets physically shoved up her backside as yet. So we’ll call that ‘unprecedented levels’ of support… ”

The Griffinfuhrer Presstapo’s Bristol diktat also attempts something of a thunderous nietzcheian tone – unfortunately undermined by the reference to poultry and the hopeless cliche – “The Establishments chickens are coming home to roost – maybe not this year – maybe not next – but they are on their way home,” they wail.

Well that’s as maybe. But so far in Bristol it ain’t poultry on their way home is it? It’s the BNP’s daft old bat of a Nominating Officer speeding back to her Warmley home with her tail firmly between her legs. Ho, ho.

And finally how could any good quality deranged Nazi rant be complete without the imminent threat of Blitzkrieg? And here it is: “officials of the BNP’s Mid-West Region, which includes the Bristol area, are meeting up to discuss a mass leaflet drop on white working class estates across the city.”

And just how do they intend to leaflet every estate in Bristol before the election with just one mad old cow from Warmley, a bloke who lives in a bedsit in St Andrews, a fake accountant from Hartcliffe and a couple of her gormless next-door neighbours?

A mere detail along the road to creating the Greater Bristol Reich no doubt.