Hacks at the circus

Posted on September 25, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger
Kate Moss - nothing to do with Cabot Circus

Kate Moss - nothing to do with Cabot Circus

Another day of media overkill to accompany the opening of Cabot Babylon Circus.

“So what’s it like then?” the Evening Cancer gormlessly asks on its front page.

It’s like any other fucking shopping centre you stupid dickheads. What do you expect? The Garden of Earthly Delights?

The Cancer’s increasingly ludicrous coverage of this non-event (surely you mean the most important thing to have happened in Bristol since Edward Colston cut his toenails for the last time? Ed.) has been covered in some detail over on the Evening Post Watch blog.

However the Blogger was particularly taken with today’s promotional story on page 6 – “Hooray for Harvey Nichols” – coincidentally accompanied by a full page ad for Harvey Nichols on page 7.

Here we find that the traditional style of news reporting that we have become accustomed to over the years – where we’re told about real things that have actually really happened – has been superceded by a new and innovative news reporting technique involving highly speculative, celebrity-studded guess work:

A [Harvey Nichols] spokesman said: “Within easy distance of the Cotswolds, Bath, Gloucestershire and Wales, Harvey Nichols Bristol is sure to become a destination shop for all those London fashionistas such as Kate Moss, Kate Winslet and Elizabeth Hurley, who are spending more and more time at their country retreats.”

Yeah and Carla Bruni is sure to turn up every other Friday and offer blow jobs for a tenner outside the Apple Store right?

Today’s big Cancer story then is basically a piece of nonsensical speculation about who might shop at a store in Bristol on the basis that they might own a property somewhere within an 80 mile radius of the city. Brilliant!

We also find our old pal, retail manager Sue Stones, getting in on the act again as yet more space is freely donated by the local media for her to deliver another lame Harvey Nichols’ sales pitch.

Today Sue generously shares her unique insights in to economic affairs with us:

“Credit crunches come and go but we are not here for now or for six months.

“We’ve got a 35-year lease so the people of Bristol will still come and shop with us for many years to come.”

Sue, we’re talking about a major international banking crisis here not the fucking gypsy look or the latest collection from Karl Lagerfeld.

Yes maybe these kind of crises tend to “come and go” as you put it. But about every 60 years according to the Chancellor of the Exchequer or every 79 years according to many economists who are comparing this current crisis to the Great Depression.

But what the hell would any of them know about anything compared to a glorified shop assistant in a Chloe jacket who urgently needs to sell a lot of expensive crap in her new store?

Posted in Bristol, Bristol Evening Post, Broadmead, Developments, Journalism, Media | Tagged , , , , , , | There are 11 comments

STOP PRESS: Circus balls

Posted on September 25, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

Our glorious, if slightly dim, leader Helen Holland told the press today, “Cabot Circus is a quantum leap for Bristol beyond anyone’s wildest dreams.”

Speak for yourself Helen. It might be normal for the Holland household to have wild dreams about cement, concrete, glass, bricks and global corporate retail outlets but the rest of us might just be a little more exotic than that.

As for this “quantum leap”. Does she know what quantum means?

quan·tum (kwntm) n. pl. quan·ta (-t)

The smallest amount of a physical quantity that can exist independently, especially a discrete quantity of electromagnetic radiation.

Doh!

Posted in Bristol, Bristol Evening Post, Broadmead, Developments, Labour Party, Local government, Media, Politics | Tagged , | There are 3 comments

Nichols ripple trickle piffle

Posted on September 24, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger
How that Harvey Nicks trickle-down ripple will work

How that Harvey Nick's trickle-down ripple will work

Interesting insight in to economics on the BBC Bristol website:

The priciest item instore is an Alligator Clutch bag, by Kara Ross, at £3,170.

It’s undoubtedly expensive. But there are those who say Harvey Nichols will spread ripples of wealth across Bristol.

And there are those – obviously not featured in the BBC report because with only the two universities it’s hard to come by a real economist in Bristol isn’t it? – who say this is a tsunami of bollocks.

The simple fact is that at least £1,000 of the cost of that bag goes straight across the Atlantic to Kara Ross who’s based in New York not Bristol.

Another £1,000 goes on Harvey Nichols’ overheads – that’s rent to the Bristol Alliance (from Birmingham), admin costs to run the plc based in London, marketing costs (again all based in London) and salaries across the whole group – most of whom are based in London. Then a small percentage – unlikely to be even 5% – goes to some Bristol-based shop assistants.

The remaining £1,000-odd pounds goes directly into the pockets of shareholders who tend to be global corporations.

So by selling a three grand bag about fifty quid will actually be rippling through Bristol if we’re lucky. Big deal.

Meanwhile in London, is that the sound of wealthy shareholders and senior managers rubbing their hands together with glee rippling through the city?

Posted in Bristol, Broadmead, Developments, Journalism, Media | Tagged , , | There are 20 comments

The congestion charge cometh

Posted on September 23, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger
Slipped out, under the radar, via that popular local publication Builder and Engineer, city council leader Helen Holland yesterday announced she intends to introduce a congestion charge in Bristol.

Brave Helen made the announcement to an exclusive audience of about three Labour activists and a couple of trade magazine hacks hundreds of miles away from Bristol at the Labour Party Conference in Manchester.

Is she hoping that this extremely controversial policy announcement will get lost among the endless guff, much of it generated by her own council staff, about the Cabot Circus opening?

Posted in Bristol, Congestion charge, Labour Party, Local government, Media, Politics, Transport | Tagged | There are 34 comments

BBC: ain't life brand?

Posted on September 22, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

What’s this we find on the BBC Bristol website, with its own special link given pride of place on their homepage?

Why, it’s only the completely independent, uncommercial and objective blog of Sue Stones, the manager of the new Harvey Nichols store opening on Thursday in Quakers Friers (sic).

Yes, that’s right. Our local public service broadcaster who, according to their own portentous editorial principles, must not endorse or appear to endorse any other organisation, its products, activities or services and should not give undue prominence to commercial products or services, appears to be brazenly promoting Harvey Nichols and a load of corporate brands on their website.

Fascinating stuff the blog is too. The first entry on Thursday 17 July 2008 finds Sue elegantly setting the scene for us:

I am hoping to be writing this blog on a regular basis to share some of the triumphs (sic) and tribulations which both I and the Harvey Nichols team experience over the coming weeks before the official opening of the store on the 25 September.

The tension is palpable isn’t it? Will Sue and the team get their little shop open on time? What could go wrong? And how many more well worn cliches will she mangle beyond meaning telling us?

Wednesday August 6 finds Sue back at work after a well-deserved holiday and the reality that the store is opening in only 7 weeks has hit home we learn. And just marvel at what’s happened in her absence:

Yesterday I was joined by the new Head Chef, Louise McCrimmon and the Executive Chef from Leeds who arrived to check the kitchen installation. This is at one of the most advanced stages of completion and features a state of the art range for the chefs to use, made in St Etienne in France it is electric which allows for a much more even cooking temperature resulting in a higher quality of food, Bristol is the first store to have this bespoke made, cutting edge technology installed.

Yes, they’ve installed an oven in the kitchen! But wait … There’s more. Sue also takes the opportunity to discuss the fascinating details of the delivery schedule for accepting stock into the store:

“This is akin to a military operation with the task of co-ordinating deliveries of everything from pencils to Petrus, rhubarb to Reidel glasses, Dolce and Gabbana and Louboutin.”

It’s also rather akin to promoting commercial products on the BBC isn’t it?

And so to Thursday 28 August and the realisation that in less than five weeks time they will be open for business has apparently set in for Sue. (didn’t the reality set in on August 6? Ed.)

She tells us:

As a company we are now increasingly known for our restaurants, due to the huge success of The Oxo Tower.

Really? That’d be hugely successful Oxo Tower that gets awards for ‘most disappointing’ and ‘most overpriced restaurant’ in London would it? The Sunday Times’ A A Gill, meanwhile, described the food there as “Dull and worthy though not send-backable, but not worthy enough to go up eight floors if the lift broke down.”

But presumably any suggestion that it’s all a load of overpriced crap is a minor quibble that isn’t worthy of mention on the BBC?

Fast forward to Thursday 18 September and we find busy old Sue’s working in her office and looking out of the window! Perhaps she’s reflecting on how she can promote some more products on the BBC?

The sight of a python skin Zagliani tote bag in the palest of grey and a soft as silk caused enough excitement to finish the delivery.

Or how about:

Today we had a mini flood of sorts in our beauty room … The water was soon turned off and the offending tap fixed but suffice to say my Chloe jacket won’t ever be the same again

Shucks. I wonder if Bristol’s Harvey Nicks sells Chloe jackets by any chance?

Now, if you’re a real glutton for punishment, there’s yet another bloody blog by Emma Carlisle, manager of Cruise, a ’boutique store’ at Cabot Circus.

Nothing seems real to her either, except, it seems, a variety of brand names she liberally drops throughout the blog – it’s Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and Vivienne Westwood cardigans in her first post.

Then, with her second post, why not try and spot the difference between it and an outright promotional PR puff?

On the ground floor we have a premium casual wear offer from Stone Island, C.P Company, Belstaff, Evisu, Billionaire Boys Club, Adidas Heritage and Y-3. As in our new Belfast and Leicester stores, we have a dedicated denim area which will offer a breadth of choice from PRPS, Nudie, Diesel Black Gold and Armani Jeans while Marc by Marc Jacobs, D&G and Toy Watch add a contemporary kick. The store will also house a Stone Island shop in shop offering the widest selection of Stone Island and Stone Island Denims outside of London which is very exciting for us.

For womenswear, we’re proud to present amazing new a/w collections from brands including Mulberry, Diane Von Furstenberg (you only have to watch the Sex in the City the Movie to know how hot she is at the moment), Vivienne Westwood Red Label and Anglomania (unusual and unique like the lady herself!), Partizia Pepe and Arrogant Cat. Premium casualwear brands include Belstaff, Diesel Black Gold and Juicy Couture. The store will also have a dedicated footwear, bag and accessory area showcasing Jimmy Choo, Mulberry, Fendi and Gina to name but a few.

Hurrah for the BBC scourge of commercialism!

Posted in Blogging, Bristol, Developments, Journalism, Media, The Centre | Tagged , , , , | There are 19 comments

Another bloody CONsultation

Posted on September 20, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

More good work from the Green Bristol Blog who’ve spotted that Railway Path wreckers, Square Peg Developments (Blogger passim), have consulted with and got the go-ahead – according to their optimistically titled Planning Performance Agreement (pdf) with Bristol City Council – from a non-existent MP!

It’s also quite revealing to see which other politicians and city council officers the developers are claiming to have consulted and listened to.

On the plus side they have listed an MP who actually exists – Bristol East’s Kerry McCarthy. Although you have to wonder what this consultation consisted of as Kerry claimed on her blog last week that she was getting information about the development from local blogs:

“[I] have obviously made it my business to look into this issue. I’ve seen the Bloggers site, the Green Bristol site and others. I’ve looked at Square Peg’s plans for the ‘cycle houses’ and am now following it up with various people.”

No mention of being involved in a formal consultation with Square Peg as they claim in the official document is there?

Of the others listed as involved in this in-depth CONsulation with people elected to represent tens of thousands of us, we find Easton councillors Faruk Chowdery – who’s supporting a petition to stop the developer building on the Railway Path – and Abdul Malik – who appeared in today’s Evening Cancer demanding “further consultation to address the latest concerns”.

It’s enough to make you think that this Planning Performance Agreement is nothing but a sham statutory box-ticking exercise put together by George Ferguson and assisted by his little helper, planning boss David Bishop, to wave around and give the impression of overwhelming support for their ill-judged development isn’t it?

Presumably they’re hoping no one will notice that they either haven’t really bothered to consult with the individuals concerned or have entirely ignored their sensible comments. Except, that is, for the gushing approval of non MP Paul Smith who doesn’t actually represent anyone and neither is he likely to in the near future.

The final individual on this farcical list of consultees is David Bishop himself, now describing himself as “Head of Regeneration”, which he isn’t – Ashy Mckay is.

But why worry if the Bald Bish takes on yet another role for himself? After all he’s only overseeing and managing the controversial planning process and taking personal control of the even more controversial Railway Path land sale to his good chum George. So why not put a positive word in from the city’s regeneration experts as well?

What role will we find the Bish in next? Perhaps he’ll pop up as the council’s Chief Legal Officer to assure us his dodgy policy-defying land deal with Square Peg is perfectly legal and above board?

Of course, any talk of a conflict of interest here would be ridiculous as we all know that the receipt of a six-figure salary from Bristol City Council magically dissolves the concept of conflict of interest for its recipients don’t we?

Posted in Bristol, Bristol East, Developments, Easton, Environment, Labour Party, Local government, Politics, Transport | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | There are 46 comments

Licensed, no bill

Posted on September 19, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

Reader James Cameron writes:

Did you know a number of Radio Bristol journalists or rather “journalists” were treated to a free meal at a new restaurant in the city centre on Thursday night courtesy of the new Cabot City Centre developers?

Oh well – at least they’ll be totally objective when it comes to negative stories about the venture then.

Indeed. Where will the world famous objectivists loyalties lie now? To those of us forced to fork out £150 a year to pay their wages or to a few Brummie spivs who’ve given them a plate of food and a couple of glasses of plonk (cost: £20)?

Be sure to keep your ears peeled for that world famous BBC objectivity courtesy of our license fees folks. Examples welcome.

Posted in Bristol, Broadmead, Developments, Journalism, Media | Tagged , | There are 14 comments

Going … Going …

Posted on September 17, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

What a shame, HBOS is bankrupt (surely ‘well capitalised with a short-term funding problem‘? Ed.) and just as they’ve moved into their brand spanking new corporate HQ on what was Canons Marsh.

Now, of course, thanks to Crest Nicholson’s corporate PR branders, we have to call it Harbourside and we’re invited to believe it’s about “shaping a soul in the heart of Bristol” at one of “Europe’s most stylish addresses … that exudes optimism and potential.” Ho, ho, ho.

Could be the ideal squat then …

Posted in Bristol, Developments, Harbourside | Tagged , | There are 30 comments

Troof news

Posted on September 16, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

Not reported much lately on our old friend Farooq Siddique, the Evening Cancer’s entirely sane and rational representative of Bristol’s Muslim community and Bristol University’s man from the mosque.

So reliable is Farooq that he was recently stood down by the Avon & Somerset Police as as a Muslim community spokesman after he brazenly claimed in a police press conference – without evidence – that ‘The Techno Terrorist’, Andrew Ibrahim, had never visited a Bristol mosque.

This, of course, turned out to be bollocks and Farooq and his agenda were hurriedly replaced for future press conferences by the vastly more circumspect, coherent and sensible types from the Council of Bristol Mosques.

So what’s this he’s saying – on behalf of Bristol’s Muslim community natch – in today’s local paper? Apparently, “there are many unanswered questions about what happened on 9/11.”

Really Farooq? And you’re going to answer them then are you?

Of course he isn’t. Instead the rambling conspiracy nut assures us, “The time is now right to be able to raise those questions, without being accused of being an apologist, conspiracy theorist or terrorist sympathiser – to look at the evidence rationally.”

Indeed. And Farooq’s brilliant, rational conclusion?

“If Muslims are to be blamed for carrying out 9/11, surely there has to be more convincing evidence, and less conjecture.”

So if wasn’t Muslims, who was it Farooq? A rogue cell of Methodists perhaps? Rastafarians? Confused Budhists? Men from Mars? Or was it perhaps the Jews wot did it?

At this stage it should perhaps be pointed out that Farooq’s fellow travellers in the Ummah spouting this kind of 9/11 denialist junk include Islamists, virulent anti-semites, holocaust deniers, suicide bombers and all kinds of violent Jihadis*.

Jesus wept. How does this shit get in our local paper?

*See Paul Stott‘s ‘Half Truth Movement: How The 9/11 Cult Falsifies History’ (Word doc) for an introduction to 9/11 Truth issues and the Muslim Ummah

Posted in Bristol, Bristol Evening Post, Conspiracy theories, Loonspuddery, Media, Politics | Tagged , , , | There are 15 comments

Insignificance

Posted on September 15, 2008 by The Bristol Blogger

Back in February, in their Parks and Green Spaces Strategy (pdf), the city council had this to say about the Bristol and Bath Railway Path:

Bristol has a number of strategically important green links, providing important traffic free cycling and walking routes, as well as acting as significant wildlife corridors.

But what does the same city council say three months later when it comes to deciding whether Merchant Venturer George Ferguson and his shadowy money men have to do an Environmental Impact Assessment for their plans to build directly on this wildlife corridor?

The proposed redevelopment would not have the potential to have significant effects on the environment.

So digging up part of a significant wildlife corridor will have no significant effect on its environment? Planning boss David Bishop is making this bollocks up as he goes along isn’t he?

Posted in Bristol, Bristol East, Developments, Easton, Environment, Local government, Merchant Venturers, Transport | Tagged , , , | There are 5 comments