Exciting news just in from the spiritual home of the laptoperati, Bristol Media.
This is the local website that acts as a sort of online support group where badly paid marketing assistants, PR nobodies, wannabe web designers, media studies graduates at a loose end, wealthy people who can optimistically describe themselves as film makers while taking too much cocaine, assorted delusionary lunatics, the kind of people who think Stephen Poliakoff is a good idea and those blokes who hang around the Watershed doing something with with Apple Macs can try and convince themselves that they’re edgy and exciting Hoxton creative types rather than clueless corporate bores working in a hopelessly conservative provincial backwater churning out unreadable press releases for bored journalists, drossy websites for the public sector that nobody ever looks at and risible corporate training videos.
Anyway, they’ve come up with a thrilling new wheeze to talk themselves up. The Krazy Kats are having an edgy and exciting Christmas Ball to “celebrate Bristol’s creative entrepreneurs” apparently. Or rather, so their strapline says here, “A hedonistic night of debauchery for Bristol’s media talent” (don’t you love the way they have to tell you they’re talented?) at that go-to venue for local hedonists, er . . . Bristol Grammar School!
And if further proof of the startling level of creative talent – that they never stop telling you about – were needed, they’ve even got a crazy name for the night. They’re calling it “The Not a Ball Media Ball” and they’re promising “an event to bring Bristol’s creative and media scene together; uniting all local, influential talent under one roof.” An event you might have thought could take place quite comfortably in Sid and Doris Bonkers’ garden shed in Sea Mills.
But no. It says here – and this is my favourite bit: “The Bristol media scene is thriving, which is not surprising when you look at the diversity of talent within the city: award winning ad agencies, animators, publishers, digital agencies and production companies – real proof that Bristol continues to give London a run for its money.”
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Is that London, Arkansas, pop 925 they’re talking about?
Bristol Media its laughable. Since the doomed-to-fail Clifton Chronicle went to the wall there hasn’t been any meida to talk about here! Northtcliffe runs (ruins) the rest!
I can hear the London media types now: “Darling, how do you manage to operate your Mac while driving a combine harvester?” 😉
Bristol Media is a triumph of form over function. The champagne swilling and idol networking banter of people gasping to meet someone who does really do something interesting rather than just say they do belies the fact that there are some very interesting things going on here if you can get past these fools.
My mum always said head lice only like nice clean hair.
You’re a fool.
Male bloggers take note: this is what happens if you let the missus on the internet
i wonder how many residents of bristol there are in their group that were born in to the neglect known as knowle west,southmead,hartcliffe etc……the water shed “hedonists” of clifton redland and cotham(and the couple from bishopston and southville) can fucking chock on theyre iphones.the fuckers. they represent fucking nothing of real bristol they drive through it now and then thats all.different world of 9 quid for organic plates of shit at the watershed, different world
choke*
You forgot they’re*, their* and that’s*
I’m not sure if I’d rate Bristol Grammar School as an “edgy” party venue, but they’re good at Grammar.
I’m an occassional member of the Watershed laptoperati but not even I would go to a Bristol Media event! Especially not a networking party. Can’t think of anything more slimey and pointless!
As if bristol’s media scene need more networking opportuinities. It’s all we ever do!
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Teach. What are you actually doing on your computer when you’re sat in the Watershed?
Good question.
thinking about it, maybe I’m actually a fake Laptoparati as, although I go to the Watershed often for meetings, I only occassionally get out my laptop! If I have it on me and I’m early for a meeting then I’ll basically only check my emails. If no laptop then I might torture myself by using one of their nasty silver hard-as -rock computer terminals in the glass tables.
I see a lot of the true Laptoparati with headphones in and talking to themselves, so I always presume they are using Skype.
Dirty habits such as Facebook are the other thing I see people doing in there. I personally couldn’t do that in public. I have standards!
Oh for goodness sake, get a grip people. While I agree there are some truly pretentious snotwipes orbiting their own egos in Bristol Mediaville, they certainly don’t deserve the kind of facetious vitriol posted here.
There are many more insidious, bloodsucking characters doing the rounds in the worlds of property sales and lettings, credit management, cosmetic surgery and divorce law to name but a few.
Why don’t you look around you and develop a sense of perspective amigos? You sound like a bunch of small-minded mediaphobes.
Bristol Blogger did make me laugh out loud though.
fair point the last post, but when thier wandering around being proud of their hedonism i just couldnt resist a dig at them and their lame excuse for a “network” or “group”, just A waste AAGH space.
While I thoroughly enjoyed reading some of the comments above, I’m glad someone was able to pull their head from their arse and talk sensibly on the matter (Much ado).
I’ll respond to those who can’t… wankers.
So why don’t you do something about it…oh thats right its easier to do nothing and criticise…ho hum your right London really is quaking in its boots, how is it going to contain this pro-active go getting attitude seeping up from the west. Sigh.
Unfair comparison Mr Almonds!
Your ‘London is really quaking’ comment brings a salient point to the fore: why should people working in media in the South West be aspiring to the dizzy heights of London anyway? Or even striving to compete with it?
It serves no-one to compare ourselves unfavourably with the big city, particularly when it’s much better financed, connected, well known and globally respected as a centre for this kind of endeavour.
That’s not to say we’re beat before we start, but it seems to me that your ‘we’re so shit, London is so great’ attitude can only lead to the kind of complacent, insipid underachievement you accuse people in the West of having.
Perhaps you’d be better off refocusing those woe goggles of yours on all the good stuff happening – on all the people actually ‘doing something about it’. There are lots and they’re really rather good.
TBF, Bristol is, in many respects, shit.
But at least it’s not London. That will always be our saving grace 8)