***SECURITY ALERT*** Mad fanatics want to destroy us all!!!

Mad fanatics

There was a major security alert across the city today after two large containers of bullshit were discovered at the premises of the Easton Community Partnership on Stapleton Road. Police believe the find may be related to the activities of the Bristol Voluntary Sector.

A police spokesman told The Blogger: “We believe the substances we found today are the product of a small minority of fanatics who are determined to destroy our way of life. We urge all Bristolians to remain vigilant against this appalling and growing threat, everyone should be aware of the potential risks and be extremely vigilant.

“Our intelligence leads us to believe there may well be bullshit at several other locations across the city. Rest assured we are investigating and the perpetrators will be brought to justice”

Police are believed to be currently conducting fingertip searches at The Community at Heart offices in Barton Hill, the Voscur offices at the B Bond warehouse and reports are coming in that Beauley Road in Southville has been sealed off after residents reported a smell resembling bullshit around the Southville Centre.

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