News just in.
Bristol’s most pompous man, architect George Ferguson, has called in a firm of upmarket image consultants to undertake a drastic personal rebranding exercise for him.
The aim is to help “detoxify the brand”; “recalibrate the public profile” and “reimagine the media role” after a year of appalling adverse publicity, largely related to his role in the so-called ‘Red Trousergate‘ scandal.
Our man in the Tobbacco Factory last night conveniently overheard George engaged in deep conversation with a couple of swanky marketing PR executive consultants from London for over two hours.
And the Bristol Blogger can now reveal that George will be dropping his red trousers immediately!
“Green trousers will better focus your outstanding green credentials in the public mind and in the marketplace,” George was told.
“Red is too Stalinist.Too combative. People think you’re an egomaniac, possibly with control freak tendencies.
“You need to soften your image to something a bit more folksy. Think Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Everyone loves him. Have you ever considered growing a beard and spending more time in the woods with rare fungi?”
George was heard to reply, “As the leading exemplar of sustainability in this green capital, an international icon of green best practice and an all round low carbon electric car kinda guy, you’re absolutely right. It makes perfect sense for my legwear to be green.”
The Bristol Blogger can reveal George will be sporting his first pair of green trousers – likely to be 4-wale, extra thick corduroy designer hipsters in asparagus green from Bristol Harvey Nicks – at the Tobbacco Factory this morning.
The first person to send in a photo gets a can of Stella.
“The first person to send in a photo gets a can of Stella.”
Surely in these sustainable times, you mean a ethnic hand woven pouch of Belgian organic grapefruit ale? Recycled of course.
In other news, Barbara Janke and her band of warriors turn over a new leaf and start running Bristol like a proper council, primary school places are sorted for all those waiting, public transport is functioning well (without the aid of forty fucking thousand new sets of traffic lights) and the Bristol Evening Post starts reporting stuff that people give a shit about. Oh, no, hold on a minute, it’s april fools day. Bollocks and back to reality.
BB- Any chance you could make that a bottle of Leffe or Organic Wild Hare? Shame we don’t have Smiles anymore 🙁 I thought they produced excellent beer. Every city, if not town should have a brewery as part of it’s local economy, especially in working toward sustainability.
I will no doubt be seeing George today (South & East Development Committee) so will see if he is donning any green corduroys for a change.
“Every city, if not town should have a brewery as part of it’s local economy” too right Martyn. Times was every PUB brewed its own beer.
Then they – yes they – brought in some laws to stop this sort of dangerous self sufficiency on the part of the lower orders. Nowadays we can’t hardly fart without some idiot manager wanting a form filled in beforehand.
Haven’t you heard of the Bristol Beer Factory?
(Liked the Green-trousered stuff, v witty)
never heard of Zerodegrees?
Out east there is the Avon Brewing Company, and just over the border in Kingswood, there’s Arbor Ales.
No green corduroys today!
Yes, I know of the Bristol Beer Factory but they’ve got a few years to go to reach the pedigree of Smiles. It’s a pity Bristol didn’t get the Georges micro brewery it was promised at the redevelopment at the old Courage site.
I think both the Bristol Beer Factory and Zero Degrees brew excellent beer the city should be proud of.
Dont mention that the Bristol Beer Factory brews excellent beer here – the foaming mouthed Ferguson haters will find some reason to say the beer is a corrupt “brownwash” that panders to the middle-classes!
If George really wanted to make people happy with architecture and redevelopment (as conveyed by Square Peg today) why didn’t they consider redeveloping the Chocolate factory into a brewery and create employment at the same time?.. ha, there we go, the resurrection of George’s Brewery!
As well as being a tried and trusted local brewer, and cutting down on beer miles, avon brewing co also brews with organic malt and such … no i’ve not got shares.
All interesting, but the PR executives are most likely to be from Bristol….