Court circular #4

Thanks to reader Overayard, we have some more news on the latest ludicrous private sector CONsultant to board the Counts Louse gravy train, Mark Fletcher.

Fletcher is a senior partner at the fashionable (ie. expensive) PR and communications agency ‘Reputation’. And it appears his unique selling point (or USP as they no doubt say in strategic leadership circles) is that he’s written a book, Managing Communication in Local Government.

And guess what this well-paid communications CONsultant to local government says in his book?

Only that the problem with local government lies – can you believe? – with their communications and PR. A problem that can be conveniently solved by … Wait for it … Expensive PR CONsultants such as himself!

Brilliant isn’t it? No actually it’s a load of bollocks.

As we’ve heard before, employ an IT CONsultant and they’ll tell you the problem’s IT; employ an accountancy CONsultant and they’ll tell you the problem’s accounting; employ a PR CONsultant and – wow! – the problem’s PR.

Although it now rather looks like the current problem at the city council is Fletcher himself as he appears to have broken the number one rule of PR – don’t become the story.

And trust us Mark, you really will be the story once those FoI requests start going in and we find out how much you’re earning, what your advice consists of, what hotels we’ve been putting you up in and all the other embarrassing little details of this self-serving rip-off you’re perpetrating upon our city.

In the circumstances, why not clear off back up north, or wherever the hell you come from, and just leave a note in big letters for Chief Exec Ormondroyd and that daft copper you’re working for that tells the truth: “THE PROBLEM IS THE SERVICES YOU ARE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ARE SHIT. GET OFF YOUR LAZY ARSES AND IMPROVE THEM. PR AND COMMUNICATIONS ARE POINTLESS UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE THIS”.

Simple innit?

Meanwhile more news on the idle copper from Sheffield who doesn’t know where Easton is who’s running this whole pricey communications/marketing/PR farrago.

It seems that when he learned that boss Ormondroyd was employing a new £47k a year “executive support assistant” he started stamping his feet and having little tantrums and has bagged himself one as well now!

It’s a good wheeze this. Get a job on £150k and then employ somebody else to read your emails and write your reports ’cause you can’t be arsed.

And how much exactly is this costing us all? Have the politicians agreed to these absurd levels of expenditure on more personal assistants and personal CONsultants? And what are we getting for the money? Will the result be better schools? Better transport? Better social care? Better housing?

Er, no … We’ll get a fake reputation and an embarrassing image dreamt up by career local government officers and a sodding copper.

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8 Responses to Court circular #4

  1. Overayard says:

    Could not argue with that rant.

  2. inks says:

    A simple challenge to give Mr Fletcher a chance to demonstrate that his communication skills are worth paying for: turn up here and persuade thebristolblogger you’re an asset to our city.

    If he’s any good it shouldn’t be too hard.

  3. Bigwok says:

    Perfect, employ a copper for communications and then subsequently employ an assistant and PR consultants to do his job for him.

    All I can conclude is that his communication strategy can’t be more imaginitive then “We’ve tough on crime, sorry I mean non-payment of Council Tax and School Truancy”!

    I wish it was easier to sack people in the public sector.

  4. Media Mouse says:

    Mmm. Thanks for this BB. I heard that there is still no takers for the Head of Comms in the Council…You up for it?

  5. The Blogger says:

    I’m waiting for the call. I’d do it for £30k a year. Six month trial what have they got to lose?

  6. Gary Hopkins says:

    Probably several lawsuits.

  7. Matthew, Mark, Luke and Jon says:

    That was actually funny, Gary. Is there a sense of humour emerging somewhere.

  8. thebristolblogger says:

    The thing is, the law suits would probably come in cheaper than the wanky CONsultants Gary’s employing.

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