Introducing Bum Disease

Piggies with people, Paul McCarthy 2007

Piggie with Bum Disease, Bristol Blogger 2008

What with it being August and the holidays and everything, I thought I’d do a bit more about artist Paul McCarthy, who’s now well on the way to gaining the coveted sobriquet ‘The Bristol Blogger’s favourite artist’.

1995, I read, found Paul playing the role of Willem de Kooning, taking his underpants off and having his arse sniffed by art collectors. This was igeniously called ‘The Painter’.

More recently Paul’s given us HEAD SHOP/SHOP HEAD, at the S.M.A.K Gallery in Belguim, where he depicted George W. Bush taking a pig from behind and the Queen Mum and Osama Bin Laden indulging in gory orgies.

“[he] Tries to devalue the icons of the political establishment, not by denouncing what they really do, but by simply declaring that they are ‘fuckers’,” it says here.

Sound familiar? Well get this from proper European art critic bloke, Stefan Beyst: “The level of someone who attacks his enemies in calling them ass sniffers or pigfuckers, is not more elevated than the level of someone who deems it necessary to cover the wall of a toilet with dirty drawings.”

Pigfuckers? Did he say pigfucker? As in Pigfucker Gurney!!!

He did indeed. And you thought me describing the city council’s former Chief Executive as a Pigfucker was simply needlessly offensive juvenilia didn’t you? Well it’s no such thing. It’s fucking art!!!

Here’s some more from art expert Beyst: “This is no longer a parody, but the non-verbal version of a word of abuse. Parody desublimated into scatology. With hindsight, the shift from parody to scatology uncovers the true face of … parody itself.”

So there! Can’t argue with that. It’s official. Pigfucker Gurney is parody itself and it’s art.

Which has got me thinking. If I want to maintain my profile in the world of art, I had better come up with an epithet sharpish for the new City Council Chief Exec, Jan Ormondroyd.

Having already drawn the obvious parallel between Ormondroyd and haemorroids, my first thought was that she should henceforth be known as ‘Arse Ache’. But Arse Ache Ormondroyd seems a little too alliterative, friendly and cheerful.

What’s needed for that vital ‘drawing on a toilet wall’ feel is something much more childish and much more offensive. How about ‘Bum Disease’?

Not only will this make for some off-the-wall headlines (cf. above) but it’s perfect for a clueless, pompous, self-important £180k a year bureaucrat who surrounds herself with equally well-paid sycophants, yes-men, coppers and gormless politicos who – from the comfort of their Counts Louse offices, fortressed against reality – treat this Chief Exec as a figure of the utmost seriousness, importance and significance …

… While here, outside, this absurd figure will be popularly known as ‘Bum Disease’ …

Gotta a better offensive name for our new City Council Chief Exec than Bum Disease? Then let us know …

COMING SOON: Paul McCarthy and Bristol East MP Kerry McCarthy. Coincidence or wot? Are they by any chance related? Is one of our local MPs a secret madcap art installation on the theme of conformity and party politics? All revealed soon …

Anyway, that’s enough of this bollocks I’m going away until the middle of next week.

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2 Responses to Introducing Bum Disease

  1. Dave says:

    I favour “Jandroid”.

    Or possibly just quoting Obi Wan – “This is not the Ormondroyd you are looking for”.

  2. Spectator says:

    Well BB, up till now I suppose that my taste in art has been a little old fashioned. I have tended toward an appreciation of paintings from the 1700-1800s – especially those of the pre-Raphaelites.

    However, you have provided me with an education. You have taught me the value of modern conceptual art… this is quite an achievement… I suspect that you may qualify for some kind of art appreciation grant: maybe you should apply to Bum Disease as soon as you return from your holiday.

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