Oxbridge watch

Further evidence, as if it’s really needed, that the statement, “I studied English at Cambridge” actually means “I’m a thick toff who’s been taught by idiots”.

In order to get on down wit da kids daddio and demonstrate their up-to-the-minute cultural studies cred, the ‘elite’ literary academics of Cambridge set this year’s ‘elite’ English scholars a practical criticism exercise for their exams using the lyrics of Amy Winehouse’s Love is a Losing Game.

Here’s some of the lyrics the elite scholars were given:

Self professed and profound
Tilter tips were down
Know you’re a gambling man
Love is a loosing hand

No doubt some of the ‘elite’ scholars spotted the fact that their ‘elite’ academics can’t spell ‘losing’ and are right now scratching their heads and wondering who the fuck’s been teaching them for the last three years.

But I wonder how many realised there’s no such word as tilter? The line should of course read “‘Til the chips were down”.

Ho, ho, ho …

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11 Responses to Oxbridge watch

  1. Jon Eccles says:

    Tilter – ‘one who tilts, or jousts’ (Wiktionary)

    ‘Tilter tips were down’ – the jousters weren’t pointing their jousting sticks at the opponent at that moment.

    Not that it makes any sense at all in the context, obviously. Still, you can see why an Oxbridge don might think Winehouse was writing about jousting. I’m sure she’s analysing the finer points of tournament tactics with Blake deep into the night.

  2. Dave says:

    God this post reeks of resentment. What’s the betting that the Bristol Blogger got turned down for Oxbridge had has been nursing the hurt ever since? My guess is that he did town planning at some poly or other.

  3. DreamGirl says:

    You have to admit though that the blogger was probably clever enough for oxbridge, unlike his fellow blogger mister barlow who fits the description of someone who wished he’d been to a posh uni. read his blog.

  4. Chris Hutt says:

    Who doesn’t wish they’d been to a posh university, except the people who did?

  5. DreamGirl says:

    some of us are just happy with who we are!

  6. Dave says:

    Just realised there’s another “Dave” posting on here. Hardly surprising really – maybe I should change my name!

  7. Minchyp says:

    Think you’ve missed the target on that one. When you say:

    “I studied English at Cambridge” actually means “I’m a thick toff who’s been taught by idiots”.

    Shurely it should be:
    “I studied English at Cambridge” actually means “I’m a thick toff or a smart toff who’s had the benefit of a good schooling and have, as a result developed a strong sense of belief in my own abilities”.

  8. Emma says:

    Minchyp you are mistaken. Confident (and yes frequently arrogant) families with loads of money breed kids with a strong sense of belief in their own abilities, and this confidence is reinforced by education at “good” schools and universities.

    A strong sense of belief in your own abilities can take you a long way, and if you’ve got it you don’t necessarily need to go to university to make a success of your life.

  9. TurnTurtle says:

    Ah, the Oxbridge experience. I met some revolting toads in freshers’ week trying to swing their hips to ABC and Soft Cell in their brogues and stripy shirts, ridiculous caricatures who are now writing for the Financial Times, driving round their rural constituencies in their 4x4s, investing peoples money in the arms and drug trades, etc etc etc. On the other hand, some of the “elite” are out and about in Bristol in places you might not expect to find them – schools, health centres, environmental organisations – and oh look, there’s one propping up the bar in a pub in St Pauls – one delivering Kleeneeze catalogues door to door – and one who spends the day on a bench in Castle Park drinking cider….

  10. Ella says:

    Shurely it should be:
    “I studied English at Cambridge” actually means “I’m a thick toff or a smart toff who’s had the benefit of a good schooling and have, as a result developed a strong sense of belief in my own abilities”.

    I got better results than people I knew from private schools and Bedales. I went to a ghetto school G-more check that shit out.

  11. Phroine says:

    TurnTurtle – lol – there’s one propping up the bar in a pub in St Pauls – one delivering Kleeneeze catalogues door to door – and one who spends the day on a bench in Castle Park drinking cider….

    Funny how things can turn out, isn’t it.

    Like, who needs Oxford when you’ve got the internet and public libraries? Especially when the latter also have the advantage of giving free heating in winter. What more could you ask?

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