Headline news

Bristle KRS was rather taken with a headline in Thursday’s Evening Cancer:

ACKER BILK BAULKS AT SILAGE BAG EYESORE

Which is pretty good stuff. But it’s generally been a good week for Cancer headlines. Here at the Blogger we were quite impressed with Tuesday’s:

‘COLOMBIAN SOLD FISH NOT DRUGS’

And also:

VICAR TERRIFIED BY LAWNMOWER ATTACK ON HOME

On that note, we’re off to see our good friend Carlos to get some pure, uncut haddock – line caught, natch.

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2 Responses to Headline news

  1. BristleKRS says:

    It might be because I only read the online edition these days, but aside from the sheer poetry of the silage-besmirched jazzman and the other stories you mention, I’ve not really noticed many decent headlines of late. I think it might be more costcutting at the Andrex factory – the EP‘s ‘This Is Bristol, FFS’ section of the subs’ bench appears to have been merged with the ‘Deep Laden Irony Department’, giving us the likes of:

    CAN WE BE GUIDED TO TRANSPORT SUCCESS?

    HIGHER PRICES WILL STOP BINGE DRINKING

    and

    WATERWAYS COULD BE LIKE VENICE

    There’s been a shameful lack of painful punning of late, with only a handful of examples, such as:

    CAMPAIGN TO GET SPEEDWAY BACK ON TRACK

    and

    CHARITY SHOW WILL HIT ALL THE RIGHT NOTES

    No, instead we’ve mostly been assailed with headlines from the traditional local newspaper school of hyperbole…

    RESORT GETS A TASTE OF ITALY (Um, Italian restaurant might open in Weston-super-Mud)

    Sadly all too little fish pushing, Bilk baulking or clerical Flymophobia.

    Still, perhaps nothing will ever reach the giddy heights of this particular Evening Post classic, from around ten years ago:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/bristle/2285711666/

  2. Pingback: My Cancer Treatments » Blog Archive » Headline news

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