Helen Holland Christmas message joy

Helen Holland - Leader Bristol City CouncilAfter months of tortuous negotiations, The Blogger is pleased to announce that we have secured EXCLUSIVE rights to council leader Helen Holland’s Personal Christmas Message by Simon Caplan. Look out for Helen’s exciting seasonal message to the people of Bristol on Christmas Eve – only on The Bristol Blogger.

The Blogger will be taking a break for Christmas from Christmas Eve until the new year. However we will continue to work hard. The delayed Bristol Blogger Sunday Review of Books featuring the new Banksy book Home Sweet Home will be completed.

And The Blogger will be spending the Christmas period writing some sensational absurdist plays:

Waiting For Ormondroyd – in which a tragic Bristolian buried up to their neck in paperwork, surrounded by a desolate sea of filing cabinets, lost CDs and sketches of proposed centres of cultural excellence is forced to randomly utter the contents ODPM reports, equalities communities action plans and Simon Caplan’s press releases into the void.

Pigfucker’s Last Tape – in which a failed bureaucrat is trapped at the bottom of £10m pound hole they have dug with just a tape recorder to waffle their farewell message of hopeless cliches and corporate management jargon into.

Both will be appearing at the Old Vic no time soon.

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9 Responses to Helen Holland Christmas message joy

  1. farty pants says:

    “The Blogger will be taking a break for Christmas from Christmas Eve until the new year.”

    So look to me for bitter, spastic, uninformed, massive-chip-on-his-shoulder bullshit whining from some cunt who has clearly never been with a woman?!! RIGHT HERE, DAMNIT!!!

  2. bristolgraffiti says:

    In the comments you leave by the looks of things…

  3. redzone says:

    enjoy your festive holiday bristol blogger!!
    farty pants, you obviously haven’t got anything special planned for the festive season then?? . . .

  4. farty pants says:

    Well done! I’m off to buy a good solid length of rope with which to hang myself and thus make the world a slightly better place.

  5. sodmonkey says:

    My New Year’s resolution by Sodmonkey/Twatty Banjo/Farty Pants/Barry Shitpeas/etc

    This year I will develop a sense of humour, stop believing that I am the best person, like, EVER, Shut The Fuck Up, get a life, get some friends, acquire a basic education, stop being so fucking bitter and try to find love that doesn’t require payment and lasts longer than three minutes.

    Oh and that self-proclaimed Bristol Blogger is a genius.

  6. twattybanjo says:

    Hi “bristolgraffiti”

    Here’s a thought – I’m going to kill myself. Just a suggestion!

    Cheers and farewell,

    Everyone on the planet

  7. bristolian youff says:

    a suicide filled blog

  8. Pingback: Anyone for mental health issues? Part 1 « The Bristol Blogger

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