It looks like a member of the Conservative Party is in the frame for the Bristol Blogger’s much coveted ‘Bristolian of the week’ award after a fine piece of plain speaking to the complete loonies currently running things down at the Council House.
Earlier in the week Charlie blogged about our old friend Wing Commander Mike “Biggles” Popham.
This new Lib Dem Executive Member for Low IQ, Efficiency, Value for Money, BOGOFs and Gin-Soaked Waffle (are you sure that’s his title? Ed.) put forward a motion to the full council of such astounding meaninglessness it’s had virtually the whole city scratching their heads wondering (a) what this wealthy twit is talking about and (b) what on earth he’s even doing in the Council House let alone sitting in the cabinet.
Anyway, the rest of the Lib Dems finally noticed today that Biggles’s motion was unmitigated shite and liable to turn their party into even more of a complete and utter laughing stock if it got publicly discussed and forced him to urgently withdraw it.
Undeterred by any conventional understanding of good sense and possibly already on the Bombay Sapphire, Biggles then fired off this email to all and sundry:
Dear all,
Just to say that my Motion entitled Social Entrepreneurship has today been withdrawn.Discussions with officers has resulted in our intention to proceed sub-council with a “Transforming Democracy” agenda augmenting Social Entrepreneurship through the Customer Excellence Programme.
Currently, Kate Hartas is drafting a press release for circulation to Steve Hilton (eDemocracy), Stuart Long (ICT), Philip Higgins (Corporate Consultation), and Rachel Boast (Democratic Services) for a meeting in 2 weeks’ time and then the Group for wider consultation before release, if/as approved by the Leader.
Janice, grateful if you would coordinate a date for Kate Hartas, Steve Hilton Stuart Long, Philip Higgins, Rachel Boast and I to meet on this within about 2 weeks, ideally if possible a Wed afternoon.
A draft Social Entrepreneurship/Transforming Democracy press release will be available shortly for wider consideration.
With best regards
Cllr Mike Popham
Which in turn drew this email response from Conservative Councillor Ashley Fox:
Dear Mike
Please could you explain what you are trying to say in the second paragraph of your email. I have read it carefully but have no idea what you mean.
I’m afraid you sound as if you’re talking complete bollocks.
regards
Ashley
Couldn’t have put it better myself.
And you can’t help wondering what if a few more people started speaking this simply, accurately and directly down at the Council House? Could a whole lot more be achieved?
Hat tip: James Barlow
I’m sure Jon or Gary could let us know exactly what Cllr P is going on about? Gary, you’re blunt. Care to enlighten us?
by the way, you’ve missed the best bits – where Mikey furiously demands a withdrawal of Fox’s comments, which he had wrongly attributed to a doubtless bemused council officer.
Ashley Fox is also the South West’s prospective Member of the European Parliament (MEP), so if you’d like to see this sort of plain-speaking approach applied to the bureaucracy of Strasborg, then he’s worth a punt on election day.
Cash paid for this latest Popham email.
He’s a daft sod isn’t he? An IT expert who doesn’t know who an email’s from.
Just the man to put in charge of a £12m IT project. The senior officers must be rubbing their hands together with glee …
Hmmmm….
Into the fray!
Mike emailed an officer to ask for his motion to be removed. It was the officer who forwarded it to all councillors, to the evident delight of Ashley Fox and others.
And in case any of you are still wondering what social entrepreneurship is…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_entrepreneurship
“A social entrepreneur is someone who recognizes a social problem and uses entrepreneurial principles to organize, create, and manage a venture to make social change.”
I had to look it up too!
Jon
Shurely shome typo, MML&J?
You make a lovely couplet, James 😉
Though does Friend Ashley speak as plainly as those other recent visitors to Strasbourg?
“MOLOTOV COCKTAILS ON THE TERRACE: TORY IN ANTI-BUREAUCRACY RIOT SHOCKER” :O
‘Social entrepreneur’ is a new, high-faluting term for what decent people have been doing for centuries – trying to make society better, i.e. a do-gooder. Why can’t we just call a spade a spade?
Jon I think we can all work out what most of the individual words and phrases mean (possibly with the exception of the invented noun ‘sub-council’ being used as an adverb) it’s just when they’re all stuck together they make no sense.
Discussions with officers has resulted in our intention to proceed sub-council with a “Transforming Democracy” agenda augmenting Social Entrepreneurship through the Customer Excellence Programme.
“A social entrepreneur is someone who recognizes a social problem and uses entrepreneurial principles to organize, create, and manage a venture to make social change.”
Ah, they mean someone who makes money out of other people’s problems.
Where I come from we call such people “bastards”.
A promising entry for the Plain English Campaign’s Golden Bull award?
http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/golden_bull_awards/
Jesus BB, that’s a serious brain nummer. I challenge anyone to read through the whole document and not then go out and kill the first person they see.
So are you going to enter it or shall I? It looks like a sure fire winner to me.
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“There will be 5-10% back office efficiency savings as a result of the end to end re-design of service processes for all remaining service take-ons plus 6 core services that already have their front end in Access to Bristol, i.e. those where there is most perceived efficiencies to be made. This percentage is lower than for the front end as BPR will not impact on all transaction types, because relevant elements of the back office will transfer to the front office and hence be subject to greater reductions, and because in certain instances more resource may be required to deliver the improved customer experience.”
I read this several times over trying to work out what it meant, then I realised… all this “front ends” and “improved customer experiences” in the “back office” and whatnot… really it’s a coded advert for a knocking shop!
BB, Lizard Watcher: to avoid further confusion and mockery, isn’t about time English classes were introduced for the denizens of the Counts Louse?
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