As if they didn’t have enough wealthy twits from Clifton in their councillor ranks, come the elections in June it looks like the Lib Dems will be foisting some more of these ridiculous home counties Tories-in-disguise upon us.
Joining Lib Dem boss, Babs “Call me ma’m” Janke, the city’s self-styled Green Goddess whose swanky BS8 lifestyle is funded by her wealthy hubby’s exploits for the clean ‘n’ green aerospace industry; Mike “Biggles” Popham, Alpha Course religious nut and the former Tory Councillor for Bonkersdean, Surrey and Simon “the business plan looked robust to me” Cook, whose main qualification for running the city’s culture department is a 30 second appearance in Eastenders in the early 90s followed by a glittering career doing voiceovers for Destination Bristol (oddly not declared as an interest) and sitting next to Janke with his nose in the air at Council meetings will be Clifton architect Simon Rayner.
Simon was introduced to his adoring public by “Call me Ma’m” Janke and Jon Rogers on Monday night at a meeting in his alloted Kingsweston ward where he attracted a crowd of, er, four people! That was two pensioners, a Lib Dem activist and the Conservative candidate for Kingsweston, Adrian Clarke.
Despite remarkably strong evidence to the contrary, Rayner, Rogers and Janke thought the whole thing a glorious success. “Hopefully we can build on this,” leaderene Janke told the Cancer, adding delusional lunacy to a burgeoning portfolio of unusual skills.
Tory on-the-spot, Adrian Clarke, took a different view of proceedings, however. Rayner who lives in a rather delightful spot nestled by the Downs was forced to agree it was “highly unlikely” he would ever live in Kingsweston before admitting he knew nothing about the schools in the area. Although this didn’t seem to stop the gormless snob then announcing that Weston Park School was one of the worst in North Bristol!
Intrigued? Want to know more about this latest Lib Dem looney? You’re in luck! His application to the Lib Dems has been leaked EXCLUSIVELY to us. And note how it reads just like a job application for a public sector middle manager in the Department for Folding Deckchairs:
My professional career has equipped me with a range of skills and knowledge which will be of value both in fighting an election campaign, and as a member of the City Council.
I have experience of working in teams of varying sizes in differing roles, including managing others. I am able to deal effectively with different people and personalities, from a range of backgrounds. I have considerable experience of community consultations and working with community groups, particularly in economically deprived areas.
I am a good communicator, and confident public speaker. I am able to write clearly and concisely, and am experienced in producing well-designed, attractive documents. I have considerable experience of producing internet content, which is playing an increasingly important role in communicating with voters.
My job involves generating imaginative and practical answers to complicated problems. I have the ability to quickly comprehend new issues, analyse information, generate solutions and communicate them to others.
As an architect, I have a strong interest and broad understanding of the processes that shape cities. I have particular expertise in architectural and urban design, sustainable development, and planning regulations. I also have practical experience and knowledge of community regeneration, housing policy, school redevelopment, and public procurement procedures.
I hope to be able to apply these skills, and learn new ones, in helping us gain overall control of Bristol City Council. I then hope to be able to use my skills and knowledge to the benefit of the community which I represent, and to develop polices which will make Bristol a better place in which to live and work.
Look out for more of The Bristol Blogger’s unrivaled election coverage over the coming weeks …