“It’s a world first,” thunders Merchant Venturer George Ferguson on the subject of the ‘cycle houses’ he’s planning to build on the Bristol and Bath Railway Path.
Er, no it isn’t George. Even leaving aside the fact that the ‘bridge’ from your houses’ 2nd floor cycle store to the path will in fact be a rather cycle unfriendly set of steps because of the gradient involved, our man on his bike in Holland assures us, “We have these already in Holland they’re just not hyped in this way. They’re just sold as houses, as are the other 6000 on this estate, and any number of others around the country, all of which just happen to be nice and convenient for cycling to the city or anywhere else.”
Oh dear. Are the great red-trousered architects plans in ruins? Or will they be rebranded to live another day?
But it ain’t all bad news for the Merchant Venturers. They may well have delivered at least one world first this week as their Merchant’s Academy in Withywood finally opens its doors.
Would I be right in thinking that this is the first state school in the world to be run by toenail worshippers?
Have you ever worshipped toenails? Or other bodily waste matter? Get in touch, we’d love to hear your story.
What drives me crazy about this shit is that the fuckers will probably get what they want anyway. The local alternative press and lefties would rather be chasing 9/11 zionist conspiracy space alien bollox or are so far up their own lentil scoffing, coke snorting arseholes that they’ve just about dissapeared.
If only we had a chapter of the IWCA or something around here insted of this constant middle class bullshit which attracts these scumbag yuppie developers in the first place.
Eat the rich, that’s what I say!
Good article blogger!
A clear case of “Greenwash” if I have ever seen one. People are waking up to this threat pretty quickly now.
1) As you said there is no way they can be described as “Cycle” houses
2) They will include garages for cars
3) The potential increase in overcrowding and congestion in the area is massive
4) The 2 day “consultation” in July was a joke!
Nick Foster
Green Party Candidate for St George West